Bart Allen: Beetle Whisperer
by LookingforJane
Summary: Speedbuggy fic, Maybe Bart should be in charge of making sure Jaime doesn't ever accidentally blow someones head off.


Title: Bart Allen: Beetle Whisperer

Pairing: Jaime/Bart, better known as Speedbuggy :D

Maybe it was a stupid fight but people really needed to stay out of his locker.

"Don't they teach respect for privacy in Atlantis, _ese_?"

"You're hoarding the only bag in the mountain_._"

La'gaan stuck his hand back in his bag of chicken whizees and pulled out a hand full, tossing them in his mouth. He smirked to Jaime from behind the counter.

Jaime clenched his fists, bristling in his chair. It was a _really_ stupid fight but Jaime's day had consisted of detention for being late to school (his alarm hadn't gone off), forgetting his lunch (he'd run out the door too quickly), and hiding a plasma canon arm when the alien bug attached to his spine thought his teacher had threatened him (he didn't always agree with said alien bug).

"You could have asked instead of breaking in!"

"What? Bart always breaks in and you don't mind when he does!"

Said speedster was trying to balance a spoon on his nose as the two other males in the room bickered.

"That's—That's because—" Jaime started, tripping over his words. _That's because he's totally not my boyfriend but it'd be cool if he was, therefore he gets exclusive rights to my chicken whizees._ Not that Jaime could say that.

As if sensing his stress Bart abandoned the idea of trying to get his spoon to balance and waved it towards La'gaan.

"Shouldn't you be more into sashami? It's gross and raw but it's tuna and tuna is the freeze dried chicken whizee of the sea and you're from the sea. That way we'd all win," Bart said. The speedster was practically patting himself on the back for his intellect.

Jaime slapped his palm to his forehead, before turning back to La'gaan.

"Couldn't you have eaten something else? My chicken whizees are…"

Gone, aparently seeming as La'gaan dropped the empty bag on the counter. Jaime stared at it for a while before looking up and glaring to La'gaan.

"Problem, _chum_?"

No. No problem. Be the bigger man. Take the high road—

_[Threat detected, activating plasma canon.]_

_"What?" _Jaime squeaked, feeling the armour creep down his arm.

"What?" La'gaan and Bart asked in unison, Bart more questioning and La'gaan more aggravated.

_[The Atlantian seeks to harm us, the threat must be neutralized.]_

"He isn't a threat!" Jamie said, shoving his arm under the table, trying to hide the fact that his hand had turned into a four barrel plasma canon.

_[Chum: chopped fish and fish fluids thrown overboard as bait for sharks.]_

La'gaan crossed his arms, "Hey, don't insult me, I can be a huge threat!"

_[See?]_

"_So_, not helping!" Jaime snapped, not noticing Bart hop off his chair and move behind him, too busy using his free arm to angle the plasma canon to his legs, knowing Khaji Da wouldn't blow them off.

"Woah, woah, woah, where'd the mode come from?" Bart piped up, patting Jaime on the lower back while he leaned on the counter.

Jaime wanted to snap. Touching him while the stupid beetle on his back thought he was threatened really wasn't a good idea. What was an even worse idea was Bart's fingers walking up Jaime's spine.

"Keep it crash guys," Bart continued as his fingers reached the spot between Jaime's shoulder blades where the beetle was latched.

Jaime jumped when Bart pressed a finger on the beetle, eyes widening. Within a second it felt like his entire back had gone sensitive, as if he was receiving a massage.

"I'll admit, I may have gone through the chicken whizees in the kitchen freezer," Bart said cheerily, beginning to stroke the length of the beetle's shell with one finger. Jaime shivered, staring at his arm beneath the table as the armour crawled back up his arm.

_¿Qué?_

"But, because I'm a superhero, I'll run to the nearest store and pick up an entire barrel of chicken whizees," Bart continued, placing a bit more pressure on the beetle making Jaime's back muscles tighten, then release.

Jaime's head hit the counter as he moaned. La'gaan jumped. Bart continued.

"So long as someone gives me cash because Jay still thinks gum is five cents."


End file.
